FARMHOUSE 654
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Books
  • Podcast
  • Contact
  • Freebies
  • Favorites
  • Disclosures

lessons from the farmhouse: parenting

2/20/2021

3 Comments

 
Over the last few weeks, I've been sharing some lessons from the farmhouse.

Two weeks ago, I talked about some "home" lessons we have learned.

Then last week, I discussed lessons about marriage.
Today, I'm going to finish out this series by sharing five lessons that I've learned about parenting over the last fourteen years.

Disclaimer: Just like I shared a few weeks ago and last week, I am not the perfect housekeeper or the perfect wife.  And I am DEFINITELY not the perfect parent.  

With that said, we have been parenting for the last fourteen years.  We've taken advice from parents whom we love and trust and we've learned through trial and error.  So here are some parenting tips that will hopefully be helpful to somebody.

1. Be consistent.

Do what you say you are going to do.

If you offer a consequence for a certain behavior, follow through with that consequence.

And on that note, set realistic consequences from the get-go.  When you ask your child to complete a task, with some sort of consequence attached -- make it realistic.  There is nothing worse than when you are in the heat of the moment and you threaten some difficult-to-maintain consequence if a child does not comply with the expected behavior.

Example:
"If you don't turn the television off, you're going to be grounded for a month."

If the child doesn't turn the television off, the parents are left with one of two choices.
  1. Follow-through with the consequence of grounding the child for a month (which, in case you were wondering, is also like grounding YOURSELF for a month.) or...
  2. Lessen the consequence when the child comes back into compliance.

Sure, in the first choice, the child knows you mean business and will likely comply with your directives for a while.  However, a month of grounding is pretty substantial for not following one simple direction.

And in the second choice, your child is learning that your words don't really mean much when it comes to consequence for behavior.

In the above example, I would suggest something like "no television for three days".  This is a manageable consequence that truly fits the behavior.  After the three days is over, the child will likely understand that when you ask him or her to turn it off -- you mean business.

So -- Be consistent.  Set boundaries.  Follow through.

2. Teach responsibility.

Our girls help us to manage our home. 

Our oldest daughter is responsible for one load of laundry a day.  She washes, dries, and folds it and then delivers the clothes to the bedrooms where they belong.

Our second daughter is responsible for dishes.  She unloads the dishwasher each morning and after we fill it through the day, she washes it at night.  She hand-washes any dishes that are left after supper, also.

Our youngest daughter is responsible for gathering laundry from the hampers in the house and taking it to the laundry room each day.  She also gathers up shoes that have been left out and puts them on the mud room shelves.

They also have daily chores to help the family out on the farm -- feeding chickens, gathering eggs, taking scraps to the hogs, and whatever else needs to be done.
Sidenote:

I posted a photo of our oldest helping to organize and purge in the laundry room the other day and I caught some flack for it on Instagram from some random Christian parenting groups. 

They were degrading me as a parent for expecting our girls to help around the house.  They said this is MY job as the wife and mother (I'm sure they wouldn't be really happy that I work a full-time job or that my dear Mr. Farmhouse does a lot of the cooking in our home). 

Well, let me tell you -- these folks and I can agree to disagree on this subject because our girls are responsible & kind and they ENJOY helping around the house and farm. 

I will admit that I deleted their comments and blocked them -- no need for that type of negativity on my page! 
Picture
As a teacher, I can tell within the first few days which parents have taught their children responsibility and which ones have not.  

Do society a favor and set some expectations for your kids.  You'll be pleasantly surprised at how they step up to the task and build confidence in the process.
3. Lead by example.

This is a tough one.

You know that old saying, "Do as I say, not as I do"?

Yeah.  That doesn't work.

Your babies will pick up on your ACTIONS, not only your words.

If you want your children to have a relationship with Jesus -- model a relationship with Jesus.

If you want your children to grow up and have a healthy marriage -- model a healthy marriage.

If you want them to speak kindly to their friends -- speak kindly to them and to YOUR friends.

If you want them to be hard workers -- work hard.

If you want them to admit when they are wrong -- admit when you are wrong (this one is NOT easy!).

We could go through hundreds of examples of this.  

Lead by example.

4. Be patient & offer grace.

I will be the first to admit that we have ridiculously high standards.

I have had to find a balance between having high expectations and offering grace to our girls. 

We all mess up.  We all fall short.  NONE of us are perfect.

Our kids are learning and exploring and testing boundaries.  Their brains are not fully-developed yet and they will make poor decisions sometimes.  

We must learn to guide them through these decisions, with grace & mercy.

We must be patient with them as they learn to navigate this life.

5. Be present.

Put the phone away.

Sit down together at the dinner table.

Play in the snow.

Pray together.

​Work on household projects together.

Do craft activities.

Do a Bible study together.

Watch movies.

Enjoy the time you have with them because it goes so very quickly.

Be present.

I hope these tips are helpful for you.  What would you add?

Enjoying a day with our girls here at the farmhouse,
Hannah

​❤️🏡❤️
3 Comments

texture.

1/3/2019

0 Comments

 
Yesterday, my Harlee-girl and I spent the day together.

She slept in while I got my morning routine finished, then I woke her up to head to the school.

I had a few things I needed to get organized before staff and students came back today.

After a few hours in my office, we grabbed some lunch and went to get pedicures...the last little treat for her 12th birthday.

She decided on a manicure and I got my toes done.

When we were finished, there was time for her to spend a gift card that she got for Christmas and to pick up my WalMart grocery order, before heading to get our eyebrows waxed and my hair cut.

Here’s a little before & after of the eyebrows...her first experience having them waxed!
After the eyebrows and hair cut, we headed home, had some supper, did some laundry, and I headed downstairs to run.

A mile and a half later and I came upstairs to shower and get ready for bed.

That’s when it happened.
Picture
Picture
I took off my tennis shoes and peeled off my socks...or tried to.

But they were STUCK to my big toes.

“Oh no. This is not good.” I thought.

Sure enough...my toes had not been dry when I put my socks and shoes back on at the nail salon.

No worries though...I think they’re fine.

Just a little added texture.

​It’ll probably be on some “trending now” Facebook post in the near future.

Or maybe not.

Oh well.

Laughing at textured toenails here at the farmhouse,
Hannah

​❤️🏡❤️
Picture
​

0 Comments

room reveal: farmhouse playroom

4/7/2018

1 Comment

 
When we moved into the farmhouse, the upstairs consisted of one bedroom and an open loft area.

The whole upstairs is in a plus-sign shape, so there was the potential for three smaller "rooms".

We needed one more bedroom to give the girls each their own rooms, so we will finally build a wall in the next few weeks to give Harlee some privacy. We also added a bathroom, so the girls could have their own bathroom up there.

The leftover loft space became our farmhouse playroom.
Before we moved in, the upstairs was brown paneling.  

We thought about putting up drywall, but the more I thought about it, it was just an extra unnecessary expense.

So we decided to paint instead.

As I talked about in a previous post, we chose "Warm Oatmeal" for the color.  It's a creamy tone that's pretty close to white, without being white.

It turned out exactly how I pictured.  

I love the contrast between the walls and the original wood trim.

I love that there is still great natural light.

I love that the space will now be a fully functional and organized playroom!
Picture
Picture
Picture
And now....the moment you've all been waiting for...the Room Reveal for our Farmhouse Playroom.

To be quite honest, this room has already evolved a bit since we moved in last July. 

We had originally planned to have the Barbies and doll clothes housed upstairs, but with the older two girls having bedrooms up there and our three-year-old downstairs, that setup just didn't make sense anymore.

So we moved the Barbie house downstairs to Mattie's bedroom and made the playroom a little more functional for the preteens.
We knew we wanted to have a designated homework area for the girls that was away from the distractions of the main floor of the house.  

My mom bought these two little antique school desks at an auction for a few bucks several years ago and they fit perfectly between these bookcases and light fixture that came with the bed set we bought secondhand when we first got married.  

The bed had definitely seen better days, but the shelves were in good shape and we were pleasantly surprised to see how amazingly the desks fit in-between them!

All the furniture you see here were items we already had.

The only new purchases were my Pioneer Woman map (still my absolute favorite purchase from our trip back in the summer) and the two scripture references on either side of the map.

I'm hoping to implement some sort of a letter-writing system between the three girls and plan to use the little cubbies in the middle of the desks to be their mailboxes.  

​Below the windows (the beautiful NEW windows!) is a cool old buffet my parents' had at the house.  The legs were cut off and it's now a nice bench for the girls to sit on.

I bought the indoor-outdoor rug from WalMart on clearance last fall for our living room.  It never really "fit" there, so I decided to try it upstairs.  PERFECT!  The curtains were made by a good friend and bring the whole space together!

We had the cubbies on the west wall at the old house.  They could probably be more organized at this moment, but at the ages the girls are, there are just some things that they need every once in a while that don't have a home.

Hopefully this summer, we'll have some time to sit down and go through the cubbies to purge and make sure they're not bulging quite as badly as they are now...but for now, it's hidden, so I'm okay with that.

The conglomeration of wall art is made up of various prints from Hobby Lobby, Mardel, Target, and thrift stores. 

When I saw the Scentsy warmer on a friend's Facebook garage sale, I knew I had to have it for this room.  WalMart lamps and an adorable globe from WalMart finish off the look.

​The humidifier gives it a nice look too, don't you think?  😉
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
For nine years at the old house, we tried to carve out a place for the girls to relax that was "their own".

First, we had a nursery in one bedroom and a playroom in the other.

When we brought Baby #2 home, the playroom got changed into a "big girl bedroom" for Baby #1 and the toys stayed in there.

We put the girls together eventually and moved the playroom to where the nursery had originally been.

When Baby #3 came home, the playroom became a nursery/playroom combo.

Before we moved out here to the farmhouse, we even tried to put all three girls in one room to sleep and have the toys and desks in the other.

It just never worked out quite like we had pictured.

Until now.

The farmhouse playroom is all I had ever hoped for.

It sits opposite the new bathroom, with the older girls' bedrooms on either side.

When Harlee's wall is complete and the new bathroom has a door, I will do a walk-through of the whole upstairs.

Can't wait to share it with you SOON!

Happy Sunny Saturday from the Farmhouse, friends!

❤️🏡❤️
1 Comment

the claire bear.

4/6/2018

0 Comments

 
The day was April 6th.

​The year was 2009.

Nine years ago today.

My sister-in-law and I were at my doctor's office, watching the monitor as the sonogram tech took various measurements of our sweet Claire Bear.

​"Yeah, she'll go ahead and take her today. I mean I can't say that for certain, but I'm 99% sure that she'll send you over to the hospital when she sees these measurements."

Picture
Uh. Okay.

This was supposed to be a checkup.

Sure, I was full-term and sure, Claire's head was NOT small.

​
But still.

I had expected to leave that appointment, do a little shopping, grab some Starbucks and go home to snuggle my Harlee-girl for a few more days.

But that just wouldn't be Claire's style, now would it?

Claire Bear did things her own way then and she does things her own way now.

She is precious and kind and beautiful.

She is independent and stubborn and smart.

She has what we call "second child syndrome".

She often learns things the hard way.

She loves others with her whole entire heart.

She would rather wear a dress and high heels than shorts and a tshirt, yet she's not afraid to get her hands dirty working hard inside or out.

Our life wouldn't be complete without our sweet, sweet Claire Bear.

​Happy 9th Birthday, sweet girl. ❤️
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
0 Comments

about me.

3/12/2018

1 Comment

 
I've got some new readers, so I thought I might take the opportunity to introduce myself a little more formally and give a little background on life as we know it.

My name is Hannah and this is my blog...Farmhouse654.

I've been married to Mr. Farmhouse for almost 14 years.  We started out life in an adorable two-bedroom home in town and stayed there for over two years, before moving to a ranch-style home on four acres outside of town.  We did lots of updates to that home and property and absolutely loved every minute there.  We were completely content, except for the fact that our three girls shared two bedrooms and it was getting just a little bit tight as they continued to grow.

We had so many great memories in that house. 

We brought all three of our daughters home there. 
We raised bottle-calves, pigs, and chickens there. 
We spent 10 Christmas mornings there.

We made updates to the house, added a few outbuildings, and even survived a tornado that picked up one of our barns and threw it to the other side of the property.

Our second home was such a special part of our journey.

However, in May of 2017, an opportunity presented itself for us to sell that home and buy a farmhouse on ten acres.

So in July of last year (after some bumps in the road), we made the farmhouse our home.

And that was the start of Farmhouse654.

Now...a little background on the wife & mom of the family who lives here.

Mr. Farmhouse and I grew up right here in this town. 

We are hometown kids and I can't imagine raising our girls anywhere else.

Our girls are eleven, (almost) nine, and three.

They are so alike and so different in so many ways.

We love Jesus and love our church.

We believe that God's calling for us is to love Him and to love people.

We try hard to do this, but fail miserably a lot of the time.  We're thankful for grace!

I've been a teacher for the last twelve years and will be leaving the classroom in May to move into the position of the Director of Special Services in the district where I currently teach.  I run a photography business on the side and work for my parents, who own group homes for adults with disabilities.

We are busy and blessed.

The girls are involved in our church, play sports, take dance classes, and enjoy piano & guitar lessons once a week.  

We love to be outdoors and spend time often just sitting around in lawn chairs in the back yard watching the girls play basketball or shoot skeet.

When I have some free time, I like to document our journey through this blog.

So there you have it.

Some of where we've been and where we are now.

Someday I'll tell you all about where we're headed...our goals and dreams for the farmhouse.

But for today, I'll just go rock our sweet Mattie-girl while we watch another Barbie movie.

Make it a great Monday, friends.

​❤️🏡❤️
1 Comment

the tendency to make an excuse.

2/13/2018

0 Comments

 
Ah, parenting.

Isn't it grand?

You wait nine months for this little bundle of joy to be put into your arms and then you question every single decision you make for the next 18 years.

There are so many joy-filled moments that come along with raising kids.

And let's be real...some moments that are, eh...not so wonderful.

Diaper blowouts.

Toddler fit-throwing in public.

Eye-rolls from the pre-teen.

Sibling arguments one minute and them teaming up against you in the next.

And perhaps the most difficult of parenting challenges...struggles with friends.

I was a young girl once.

I knew that our girls' friendships wouldn't always be beautiful and wonderful and easy. 

After all, we are all human.

However, I have been struggling with something that I believe most parents struggle with...

The tendency to make an excuse.

A few years ago, one of our daughters was having a hard time with a girl who she considered to be a good friend.

This classmate had kind of distanced herself from our daughter and hasn't been the kindest at times.

When I mentioned their friendship, I could tell that there was some tension there...a bit of a strained relationship.

I heard of things the friend had said,
faces she had made,
and other behaviors that would be frustrating for a friend.

However, when I would ask our daughter about her own contribution to the situation,
she admitted that she sometimes snapped back at the friend,
avoided her at times,
and probably was not acting in the way that I would expect her to act...
regardless of how she has been treated.

And my tendency, as a human and as a mother, is to make an excuse for her actions.

But it's not okay.

It's not okay for a child to treat her friend unkindly.

It's not okay for a student to talk back to a teacher.

It's not okay for a player to roll her eyes at the referee...no matter how ridiculous she thinks the call was.

When we, as parents, make excuses for our children's poor behavior, we are reinforcing the choices they are making.

We are justifying the disrespect, the lack of kindness, and the inappropriate behaviors.

I fear that we are raising a generation of entitled youth who don't even understand the concept of respect.

Whether it's respecting their elders,
respecting authority,
respecting their peers,
or respecting property.

I'm afraid the concept of respect (even when it's undeserved) has gone out the window some days.

And I'm afraid that every time I make an excuse for my child's lack of respect or justify her actions, I'm contributing to the problem.

Friends, we have to stop the cycle.

I'm not talking about respecting adults who are abusive or pretending like there's no issue with peers who are exhibiting bullying behaviors.

But in the majority of our day-to-day interactions with other human beings, we should be showing kindness...
showing mercy...
​showing humility.

And we should be teaching our children this attitude, as well.

This week, let's really help our kiddos be accountable for their behavior.

Let's try to not make an excuse when they don't make the right choice.

Let's support that teacher...that coach...that referee.

It's up to us. The parents.

It's not up to the iPad.

Not up to the TV.

Not up to their older siblings.

Not up to their teachers (although we teachers try to set the same expectations in our classrooms).

Let's set an expectation for how they treat people.

Let's work hard to raise a generation that we are proud of.

It's up to us...and it's a challenging and rewarding responsibility.


Happy Tuesday from the Farmhouse, friends.

May the force be with you.

❤️🏡❤️
0 Comments
    Picture
    Picture

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    July 2022
    June 2022
    October 2021
    July 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    June 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017

    Picture
    Picture
    Shop Hannah's Amazon Wish List

    Categories

    All
    12-week
    12 Week Challenge
    12-Week Challenge
    12 Week Year
    12-week-year
    2018
    2019
    2020
    2021
    2022
    30 Book Challenge
    52 Weeks
    5K
    About Me
    ACC
    AirBNB
    Allergies
    Amazon
    Annual Planning
    Anxiety
    Apart
    Assessment
    Author
    Automatic
    Autumn
    Babysteps
    Back To School
    Balance
    Bedroom Decor
    Before And After
    Bible
    Bible School
    Bible Study
    Biggest Loser
    Birthday
    Birthdays
    Blessings
    Blogging
    Blues
    Book
    Books
    Budgeting
    Building
    Calendar
    Camo
    Career
    Car Purchase
    Celebrations
    Cell Phone
    Challenge
    Challenges
    Change Of Plans
    Changes
    Children
    Children's Bedroom
    Children's Organization
    Chores
    Chores With Kids
    Christmas
    Christmas Cards
    Christmas Countdown
    Christmas Tree
    Church
    Church Camp
    Church Ladies
    Cleaning
    Cleaning House
    Clearance
    Clothes
    Clutter
    Coffee
    Commitment
    Contentment
    Control
    Cooking
    Countdown
    Country
    Country Living
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Cows
    Creativity
    Crocs
    Crying
    Daily Routines
    Dave Car
    Dave Ramsey
    Debt
    Debt Snowball
    Decision-Making
    Declutter
    Decor
    Decorating
    Decorations
    Dedication
    Delta Airlines
    Depression
    Devotion
    Difference-Maker
    Digital
    Disagreements
    Diy
    Dreams
    Duke
    Ebook
    Education
    Emotions
    End Of The School Year
    Every Dollar
    Exercise
    Faith
    Family
    Family Dinners
    Family Meeting
    Family Trip
    Farm
    Farmhouse
    Farmhouse654
    Farmhouse Decor
    Farmhouse Front Porch
    Farmhouse-kitchen
    Farmhouse-office
    Farmhouse Organization
    Farmhouse-playroom
    Farmhousestyle
    Farmhouse-style
    Farmhouse Table
    Farm Life
    Finances
    Fine
    Finish
    Flooding
    Food-freedom
    Four-Week Plan
    Friendship
    Frustration
    Funny
    Furniture
    Gallery-wall
    Giftgiving
    Gifts
    Goals
    Goal Setting
    Goal-Setting
    Good-enough
    Google
    Grandparent
    Grandparents
    Grateful
    Gratitude
    Gretchen Rubin
    Grief
    Growing Up
    Growth
    Habits
    Happier
    Harlee
    Health
    Healthy
    Heaven
    History
    Holidays
    Home
    Home Decor
    Home Improvement
    Home Management
    Home-management
    Home Manager
    Home Organization
    Home-renovation
    Home-studio
    Hospitality
    House
    House-purchase
    Humor
    Ideas
    Impulse-purchases
    Influence
    Inspire
    Insurance
    Intentional
    Interior Design
    Journal
    Journaling
    Journey
    Keto
    Kids
    Kindness
    Kingdom Kids
    Kitchen
    Konmari
    Last 56 Days
    Laundry
    Leadership
    Legacy
    Life
    Loss
    Love
    Love Languages
    Marriage
    Meal Planning
    Meals
    Memories
    Mentor
    Merch
    Merchandise
    Midwest
    Minimalist Lifestyle
    Mizzou
    Money
    Mood Elevator
    Morning
    Morning Routine
    Mornings
    Motherhood
    Moving
    Mug
    Music
    Newkirk Photography
    New Year
    New Years Resolutions
    Nutrition
    Office
    On A Budget
    One Line A Day
    One Word
    Online Shopping
    Opinions
    Organization
    Organizing
    Outdoors
    Overwhelmed
    Paint
    Parenting
    Past
    Patience
    Photography
    Physical Wellness
    Planning
    Playroom
    Porch Swing
    Positive Attitude
    Prayer
    Preparation
    Printable Book
    Printables
    Projects
    Publishing
    Quarantine
    Quiet Time
    Quilting
    Raising Kids
    Ramsey
    Reading List
    Real Estate
    Refinance
    Relax
    Relaxation
    Reminders
    Reset
    Resolutions
    Rest
    Resting State
    Road Trip
    Role Model
    Room Reveal
    Routine
    Routines
    Running
    Savings
    School
    School Administration
    School Year
    Seasonal
    Seasons
    Senior Pictures
    Shoes
    Shop Local
    Sick
    Simple Living
    Simplicity
    Simplify
    Sisters
    Small Business
    Snow
    Snow Day
    Special Education
    Special Education Director
    Spiritual Growth
    Spring
    Start
    Stop Day
    Storage
    Stress
    Struggle
    Struggles
    Student Engagement
    Summer
    Supper Swap
    Survival Mode
    Target
    Task Cards
    Tasks
    Teaching
    Technology
    Tee
    Teenager
    Thankful
    Thanksgiving
    Third Grade
    Thunderstorms
    To Do
    To Do List
    Together
    Tradition
    Traditions
    Transformation
    Transitions
    Travel
    Trip
    Truth
    T-shirt
    Tshirts
    Twelve Weeks
    Vacation
    Valentine's Day
    Vision
    Vision Board
    Walmart
    Water
    Weather
    Wedding
    Wedding Photography
    Weekend
    Weekly Goals
    Weekly Home Blessing
    Weekly Plan
    Weight
    Wellness
    Whole30
    Window Shopping
    Winter
    Word Of The Year
    Work
    Workout
    Workspace
    Writer
    Writing
    Zones
    Zone Work

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Books
  • Podcast
  • Contact
  • Freebies
  • Favorites
  • Disclosures