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self-reflection.

7/23/2023

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This has been the quickest summer break I've ever had. 

I actually found a blog post from 2018 (the year I took over my current position at school), that I titled "The Shortest Summer Ever", but I am here now to concede that that statement was inaccurate. 

The summer of 2018 was NOT, in fact, the shortest summer ever.  It was most definitely the summer of 2023.

I had my last day of work on July 3rd and spent the rest of that week celebrating Independence Day, getting the girls in for orthodontist appointments, and attending an all-day softball tournament that weekend.

The following week, I chaperoned our older two girls in Lincoln, Nebrasks at CIY Move, an amazing conference for teenagers, where they grew in their faith, grew closer to each other, and enjoyed week of dynamic speakers, worship, and relationship-building.

This past week was our church's Vacation Bible School.  It was a great week, where we focused on doing what Jesus says, believing who Jesus is, sharing what Jesus did, and going where Jesus leads.  It was exhausting and wonderful and so very meaningful to lots of kids and adults.

And now...I have one week left.  

I go back to school on August 1st...in eight short days.

And surprisingly...I'm okay with that.

Over my career in public education, I have spent many "final weeks at home" dreading the school year, working to finish all the tasks on my to-do in a frenzy as the summer came to a close, and just not really enjoying very much of it.

However, I have learned a thing or two over the past few years and I want to share some of these things as we close the chapter of summer and move into fall.

1. Self-reflection is key.

We MUST be willing and able to look inside ourselves to reflect on all of the things. 

What is driving my internal need to accomplish more and more each day?
Why do I behave the way I do?
Why do I feel that way inside when I think about or see a specific person?
Why does my mind fill with concerns regarding specific parts of my life that I cannot control?

I could continue typing on this list of reflective questions for the next several weeks.  The list could go on and on and on.

Here is the kicker though: 

When we ask these questions, we have to REALLY take time to listen to our answers to make CHANGES based on those answers.

This is not natural.  This is a SKILL that must be practiced.

Here is an example of how I have been working on this skill. 

(Fair warning: this is kind of vulnerable for me...I'm just going to lay it all out there!)

I ask myself this question:
 
What is driving my internal need to accomplish more and more each day?

And then I mull over the question in my head.  I even might write something down in response to this.  I finally end up with the answer that I feel is the most closely aligned with my truth.


I feel the need to accomplish more and more each day because at some point in my life, I have bought into the idea that my own productivity is tied directly to the happiness of my family.  I have thought to myself on many occasions, "Once I accomplish ___, we will be able to live peacefully in our home."  Once the house is completely decluttered and organized...once all of the home projects we have on our list are completed...once we have a small business that has a sustainable income to allow us more time at home...once we can afford to retire...THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.

But God has been changing my heart over the last three years.

I could continue to live in this place of wanting things to be perfect before I allow myself to enjoy them completely, or I can be content where He has placed me.

I have had to reflect deep within myself and I have had to make the conscious decision to choose contentment.

We will do what we can with the time we have available, and we will build in intentional time of rest and relaxation.  We will do big projects on certain days and we will end those work days with a bonfire or a game of softball in the yard or a night at the drive-in movie.

My self-reflection has led me to focus heavily on balancing the "to do" list and the "to connect" list.  

I've also been working on how I interact with others.  Sometimes, there are things that I feel the urge to say that do not need to be said.  I listen for the still, small voice of God when these things come into my mind and I use self-control to not say them. 

And sometimes, there are hard things that NEED to be spoken, in love.  I pray for discernment in these situations -- God, is this something you would like me to engage in or are we not ready to have this conversation?  Am I in a good place to be able to deliver this message with grace and empathy?  Am I in a place to be able to listen with humility?  

It is prideful for me to believe that I have all the answers in every situation, so I am working hard to remember that I can listen & learn from others.  I don't have to have all the answers. I can gain new information, chew on it for a while, and ask God to help me see where that new information fits into His plan for me.  

After studying habits for the last few years, I have finally found a really healthy morning routine that is working well for me.  Self-reflection has allowed me to adjust and revise this routine until it clicked into place.

  • Each morning, I wake up and immediately put on my workout clothes to complete a 45-minute workout.  This might be part of my Couch to 10K schedule, a 45-minute prayer walk, or some sort of strength training.  I have been sure to plan my workout the night before, so I know exactly what I'm going to do when my feet hit the floor.  During my workout, I listen to my YouVersion Bible app devotion and my audiobook.
  • When I get home, I take my daily progress pictures before heading into the house and down 40 ounces of water.
  • I then go to my desk to plan my day and complete my Bible study.  
  • When I finish all of that, I make my bed, switch the laundry, and shower & get ready for the day.
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After reading several books by Gretchen Rubin, I've learned that we need to pay attention to the natural rhythms of our bodies when we are planning our activities for the day.

I am a morning person, or a lark, as Rubin calls it.  I do my best work in the morning.  So after I shower and get ready for the day, if I'm home for the day, I almost always launch straight into my to do list.  I try to accomplish a lot before lunch time, so my afternoons can be spent writing, relaxing with the kids, or napping.

If it's a school day, I structure my work day similarly.  I try to knock out my biggest tasks early in the work day.  I build in a few short breaks for myself throughout the morning, but I try to push through and get a lot accomplished before 1:00.  Around 1:00, I try to take time for people.  I visit classrooms, make phone calls, and attend meetings.  Before I leave for the school day, I prioritize my task list for the following day and clean my office up so I'm ready to start strong the next morning.

So what does all of this mean?

We all have areas in our lives that God is calling us to make some changes.  We are too busy or not busy enough.  We are prioritizing the wrong activities.  We are so staunchly set in certain beliefs about how the world should be that we are unable to connect with people.  We are neglecting our Bible study because of other meaningless tasks and when we do study the Bible, we're not applying it to allow God to transform our lives.

We MUST self-reflect.

And in that self-reflection, when we feel that nudge from God to make changes, we have to MOVE.

Soaking up this last week of summer break and reflecting on who I am in Jesus here at the farmhouse,
Hannah

 ❤️🏡❤️
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start the day.

1/7/2020

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You may remember at the end of 2018 when I shared about my morning routine on the blog.

Although I knew how important a morning routine was, it wasn't until I read The Power of Habit last year that I learned how beautifully automatic mornings could become.
In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg enlightens his readers about the habit loop.
  1. Cue
  2. Routine
  3. Reward

In any of our daily routines, the habit loop is present.

An example of this might be pulling into the driveway and automatically walking to the mailbox every single day after work.
Another example might be reaching for your house keys to unlock the door as you walk to the house when you get home.

​​These sequences of events are automatic. 

You don't even think about them. 

There's practically no thought necessary to get the mail from the mailbox or unlock your house.

Did you know that humans are wired to make a specific amount of decisions each day?

We each have a certain decision-making capacity and we often use a lot of our decisions on meaningless activities.

(Sidenote: This is often why people make poor food choices late at night. They've hit their decision quota for the day, so they're unable to effectively decide "no ice cream" is the correct option.)

By creating healthy habits in our morning routines (and in other areas of our lives), we create automatic sequences and cut out decisions.

Make your morning routine a habit.

Here is my morning routine:
  • Wake up
  • Make the bed
  • Put on the workout clothes that I laid out the night before
  • Workout
  • Start the coffee pot
  • Shower & get ready for the day
  • Make my coffee
  • Bible Study/Prayer Time
  • Get the kids up and ready

Now...in all honesty, over the last few months, my third and fourth steps have gone away.

I injured my hip while training for a half-marathon back in the fall and I wasn't able to workout for several months.

Now I'm healthy again and will need to re-train myself to include that working out habit in the mornings.  For now, it's a daily decision.

The beauty of the habit cue is that we have the power to change our habits.

Last summer, I started experimented with habit loops.

When my feet hit the floor every morning, I would turn around and make the bed.

Within two minutes of my alarm going off, I have already accomplished something and now every time I walk by the bedroom through the day, I will remember that accomplishment.  

As part of my bedtime routine, I've laid out my workout clothes and my clothes for the day.

Once the bed is made, I put on my workout clothes and head outside to run, to the basement to the treadmill, or to the living room to workout with a video.

It is automatic and once those clothes & tennis shoes are on, it sure is easier to get that movement taken care of first thing in the morning instead of having to decide to fit it in later in the evening.

After my workout, I start the coffee pot as I walk to the shower.

When I'm out of the shower and ready for the day, I make coffee and do my Bible study.
Cue (feet hit the floor)
Routine (make the bed)
Reward (feeling of accomplishment by 5:02 a.m.)

Cue (bed is made)
Routine (put on my workout clothes & workout)
Reward (healthy mindset for the rest of the day)

Cue (workout is finished)
Routine (start the coffee & shower)
Reward (kickstart my day with movement, Jesus, and coffee!)
It is SO AUTOMATIC.  I don't ever miss a Bible study anymore (or coffee!).

By the time the girls get up and around, I've made the bed, had 30 minutes of activity, and have done my quiet time with Jesus. 

And the beauty of it is that I didn't have to DECIDE to do any of these things.

The habit is there.


The reward from one habit loop becomes the cue for the next habit loop.

My mornings at home run like this now and I cannot even believe I lived for so long without understanding how habits work.

I hope you'll consider developing a morning routine over the next few weeks.  

Take some time to really think about the habit loops that you find yourself in the first part of your day.
View this post on Instagram

Headed out to church this morning. What a beautiful, autumn morning it was. #skagway #thesevenexperiment #adrianchristianchurch #countrysunrise

A post shared by Hannah Newkirk (@farmhouse654) on Oct 13, 2019 at 4:45pm PDT

Enjoying my mornings at the farmhouse,
Hannah
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bible journaling.

4/8/2018

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Every single Sunday, I find myself worrying that people think I'm texting or checking my Facebook during the sermon.

Granted, I do reply to a text message here and there.

But usually, I am looking up the scripture that Brother Matt is referencing or taking notes on my phone.

I started taking notes on Google Docs in January of 2017 and it has been amazing.
I have a "Sermon Notes" folder for each year and monthly folders for each month.

I can access my sermon notes from any device or any computer.

Housing my sermon notes on my phone has given me the ability to review the content from wherever I am.

It's also allowed to have a good reference when I take some time to do my Bible Journaling at home.
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Brother Matt is in the middle of a sermon series entitled "Second Chances" right now.  

He preached his first message on Easter.

It was amazing.  You can check it out here.

Today was week 2.

The message was from Acts, Chapter 2.

Acts Chapter 2 was after...
​
Palm Sunday,
the betrayal in the garden,
Christ's crucifixion,
His resurrections,
and 40 days of traveling and teaching.


In Acts 2:38, we read these words that Peter had said when the people asked him what they needed to do to make Jesus Lord.

"Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.  And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."

I grew up in the Church.

I can't even tell you how many times I have read that passage or heard that passage read aloud during a sermon or Bible study.

And yet today...I got a fresh perspective on it.

Repent means I'm turning AWAY from my sin.
Baptism is when I'm turning TO God.

When we choose to leave behind those behaviors that are not pleasing to Him, we choose to leave behind those feelings of guilt and remorse.

The feelings of not being good enough.

The feeling that we are "broken by our own mistakes" (good words, Brother Matt!).

We choose to turn towards Jesus and the feeling of hope that He brings.

So we stop repeating our bad behaviors, turn towards Jesus, and He sends us the Holy Spirit to help us to keep ourselves out of the situations we have been in for so long.

It's like a lightbulb popped on for me.  

So I took notes and journaled about it this afternoon.
I did a very SIMPLE page, with white gesso, a sticker, and a marker writing the phrase that I don't want to forget. 

I highlighted the verse in colored pencil and wrote the reference on the bottom of the page.

​That's it.
Sometimes, my pages are a lot more detailed.

But today, this was fine.

Turn away from sin.
Turn to God.
The stain will be removed and a Helper will be sent to you.

True story.


If you enjoy art and would like a creative way to connect with God's Word, I would recommend the art of Bible journaling.  
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Happy Sunday from the Farmhouse, friends.

Stay warm.

​❤️🏡❤️
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the bible app.

1/20/2018

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I have been using the YouVersion Bible app (by Life.Church) for quite some time now.  

For six years, in fact.

However, it was just over the last few months that I have begun making it one of the social media platforms I use to share my Bible study experience with friends and family.

And just in the last three weeks have I become friends with two of the most wonderful little girls you will ever meet...my oldest two daughters.
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Harlee got an iPod for her 11th birthday and one of the first apps she downloaded was the Bible app.

She's is more tech-savvy than I am and had invited me to do a devotional with her within a few hours.

"How to Strengthen Your Faith" was a 9-day study for pre-teens and teens that included a devotion, a few scriptures, and a "talk it over" prompt each day.
To be honest, I thought this would be a fun little activity that we could do to spend some time with Jesus and have good conversation about the Bible.

I wasn't prepared for the deep thoughts the girls would share on our shared Bible studies.
This is Harlee's very first entry, after reading a passage that included these words:

"Having faith in God is being confident that He loves you, that He cares about your life, that He's in control of your future.  It's believing that God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do."​
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After reading her devotional, along with a few scriptures from Hebrews and Romans, my sweet Harlee replied profoundly that faith and trust in God is what makes life worth living.

Wow...what a thought for my barely 11-year-old.

And a wake-up call for her mama.

Since that day, I have taken my Bible study time with her (and her sister) very seriously. 

God has used these words to speak to all of us...

To open up conversations on our Bible apps and in person...

To be able to have these teachable conversations through our day-to-day living.

If you are struggling with how to talk to your children, preteens, and teenagers about God's Word and Kingdom Work, I'd strongly recommend meeting your kiddos where they are.

Let's embrace the technology that is so prevalent today and connect with our kids on the matters of God.

Happy Weekend from the farmhouse, friends.

​❤️🏡❤️
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