fine.

There are these words.

There are these phrases.

They can be empty and meaningless and disconnected.

And yet, we use them often.

Hey there...how are you?  Fine...and you?

Alright...talk to you later!  Take care!

How's it going?  Great, thanks!

I'm struggling.  Oh, I'm so sorry...I'll be praying for you.
​
​I'm guilty of using these phrases.

​Sometimes to avoid a long, drawn-out conversation, we answer a question with a word or two...a word or two that are sometimes far from the truth.

Most of the time, I really am fine.  Times that I really am great.

But there are days.  There are weeks.

There are moments in life where I am NOT fine. 

I am not great.

And yet, to avoid real connection, I just go through life pretending like it's all okay.

I'm afraid this happens more than we would like to admit.

We tell people to "take care" as we leave a conversation and then we walk away and don't even "take care" of ourselves.

People give us a glimpse into their difficult life situations and we promise our prayers and then we walk away with a quick prayer thrown up and don't ever think about it again.

I'm afraid that we are becoming a society who hides behind our smiles and our one word answers to real life questions.

A society who hides behind our computer and cell phones.

A society who would rather pretend it's all going great than connect with someone face-to-face.

I think these social platforms that were created to keep us more connected with one another have caused more division than the creators had ever anticipated.

So let's get real.

This year has been difficult for me.  

Trying to transition from a job I absolutely love and adore to another job that I know I will love and adore...eventually.

Navigating the new waters of having a preteen in the house...and a threenager.

Having both of the older girls in the same school as each other...but a different school than me.

Selling a house.  Buying a house. Losing weight.  Remodeling a house.  Farming.  Gaining weight.  Taking pictures.  Teaching.  Losing weight (again).  Wife-ing.  Mom-ing.  Gaining weight (again).  Blogging.  Churching. 

Loving. 
Failing. 
Succeeding. 
Laughing. 
Crying.

And guess what?

It hasn't always been wonderful.
It hasn't even always been good.

It has been hard and complicated and emotional.
It has been beautiful and challenging and full of growth.

My Instagram doesn't always show those difficult days.
My Facebook doesn't always show those difficult days.
This blog doesn't always show those difficult days.

​Heck...my own face doesn't always show those difficult days.

So for today, just know...

I'm not always fine.
And that's okay.
You don't have to always be fine either.

Let's be real, friends.

Love & hugs from the Farmhouse.

​❤️🏡❤️