We've all gone through one, right?

A rough patch?

I remember getting lots of advice in the beginning of our marriage.

"Don't ever go to bed mad..."
"Keep an open line of communication..."
"Put your spouse's needs before yourself..."
"Keep going on dates, even after you have kids..."
"Take time to do the things you love on your own, so you don't lose 'who you are'..."
"Talk about all things money..."

But what about those times where you've been trying to do those things?
When you've had conversation after conversation, trying to feel better about life?
Those times in life where you just feel like you don't even have it in you to fight anymore?

Trust me.  

We've been there.

We have had moments in our marriage where we felt like we didn't even know each other.

I pray that we never get to that place again, but I know it's likely that we'll struggle through certain seasons of life.

And even when we aren't in a "rough patch", there's almost always a time that somebody we know is feeling the strain of keeping a relationship alive.  

This subject is one that I feel like God has put on my heart lately, so just in case you're going through "a rough patch"...in life in general or specifically in marriage...I thought I would share with you a few of the things I've learned about getting through these times.

​1. Serving each other is always a good option.

There are days that I am cranky or Mr. Farmhouse is cranky and I truly don't even want to talk to him. 

I just want to slide through the day and do my own thing. 

I have found that with one day of no interaction, two days with no interaction becomes easier. 

Then three. 

And four.

Anybody else ever feel this way? 

Like you're two people living in the same house who hardly know each other?

I have found that when we get to this point (during harvest time, for example!), the best thing I can possibly do is to ask myself what I could do to serve Mr. Farmhouse.

What could I do to make his day easier?

Some days, it's as simple as finding him a pair of socks in the morning.

Other times, it's making one of his favorite meals even when I don't feel like it.

It becomes easier and easier to serve each other when you take that first step.

2. Choose to love.

Sometimes Mr. Farmhouse and I don't like each other much.

I get frustrated with him and I'm sure I annoy him.

But even when it's hard to like each other, we have committed to loving each other.

Circumstances can affect our attitude, our words, and even our actions...but we cannot let circumstances affect our choice to love one another.

3. Look back.

In the day-to-day junk of life, I feel like some days it's hard to look back.

It's hard to remember what life was like back when we were dating.

Back when we first got married.

Back when we were eating Hamburger Helper every night and Always Save ice cream for a fancy dessert.

Before the stress of money and parenting and careers took over.

We must look back.

Go back to those things that made you fall in love with your spouse.

Look at pictures.  Reminisce.  Tell stories of your favorite memories of days past.

We have to look back.

4. Find a healthy couple, a dear friend, or a therapist to walk through this season with.

I do not know what I would do in life without "my people".

There have been many times that I have had good friends who said the hard things to me.  

Friends who had to be a voice of reason for me when I was being irrational.

Friends to pray for me. 

To pray with me.

To help us fight through the hard days.

And I'd like to think that I have been that person for someone, too.

5. Take it one day at a time.

Marriages, friendships, and any relationships do not become strained in one day.

It can take weeks, months, and sometimes years to rebuild what has fallen apart.

Make a plan to serve each other.

To love each other.

To recommit to each other.

To do the best you can every day.

To be the best you can every day.

To put one foot in front of the other and to take it one day at a time.

❤️🏡❤️

Hello there and welcome to Week 2 of the Farmhouse654 Christmas Countdown!

Last week, we focused on getting organized before we begin our journey to a peaceful holiday season with our families! 

We divided our home into eight zones and worked all week through the deep-cleaning process for Zone 1. 

At the farmhouse, this was my Living Room & Entryway.

I started the week by decluttering any shelves and drawers in the living room...I went through our DVDs and purged anything we don't watch, cleaned out a few drawers that had acquired some junk, and minimized a few decorations on the flat surfaces.

After a crazy week of parent-teacher conferences and the first slumber party in the farmhouse, I used my Friday off school to finish up Zone 1 by deep-cleaning from floor to ceiling...dusting, cleaning the windows, and making the floors shine.

If you didn't get to join us for the Week 1 challenge, just try to squeeze both of the first two weeks in this week!

Our week 2 challenge is to think about our giving.

You can print my Week 2 Planning Printable here.  

This week, we are focusing on the friends and family members we would like to give gifts to this year.

We want to be intentional with our giving!

This year for the girls, we are going to do four main gifts...

1. Something they want,
2. Something they need,
3. Something to wear, and 
4. Something to read.

We're also going to buy a few "family experiences"...zoo passes, a Royals game, and gift cards to some of our favorite restaurants.

Thanks to this list, coupled with the fact that we had a Christmas sinking fund (using CapitalOne 360 that I talked about in my blog post a few weeks ago), I am almost finished Christmas shopping.

This week, make a list of who you need to buy for, any gifts you might have already, and ideas of what you would like to purchase or make over the next several weeks.

The second part of our challenge this week is about how we can give to others during this season.  

Mr. Farmhouse and I do this in a few different ways that I've outlined on the Week 2 Challenge printable.   

Start thinking about how you can give back!

Finally, we are starting work in Zone 2 this week!

My Zone 2 is my Kitchen & Mud Room!  These two rooms will be a bit more challenging than the Living Room was!  I still haven't felt "settled" in the Mud Room since we moved into the farmhouse three months ago.  I'm hoping to change that feeling over the next week by breaking the process up into manageable tasks and tackle those two rooms!

I hope and pray that you are already feeling a little more peaceful about the upcoming holiday season! 

Let's not get bogged down with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season!

Let's take a moment and enjoy the process of getting us to this special time of year!

Happy New Week, friends! 

Much love to you and yours from the farmhouse!

​❤️🏡❤️

If you're just catching up with the Farmhouse654 Christmas Countdown, feel free to join the Facebook group HERE and print out the Planning Calendar and Week 1 Checklist HERE. ​

Christmas Countdown Blog Posts
Week 1

A little over a year ago, we decided to take the plunge and buy an older car and sell our loaded Yukon to get out of debt faster.

We found a 2004 Bonneville at our local car lot and named him “Dave”.

Dave was great.

He was a one-owner vehicle that had mainly been driven on the highway back and forth to the city each day.

He had leather seats and enough room in the backseat that the girls wouldn’t be completely squished when we drove anywhere.

We were giving up heated seats that worked, a DVD player, and lots more room in the name of better gas mileage and debt-reduction.

The Yukon didn’t sell right away, so it sat in our driveway for a few weeks.

This was just enough time for us to realize that Dave had some problems.

When I was driving to work, about the time I hit 60 mph, Dave would start shaking uncontrollably. To fix this problem, I drove 59 for a few weeks. By that time, we were able to afford a few new tires and that seemed to help.

A week or two after that, Dave started having some transmission issues. So we took him to the mechanic’s shop.

Thank goodness we still had the Yukon.

By this time, it was almost comical that we had two vehicles to care for and no less debt than we started with. So as sort of a joke, I named the Yukon “Ramsey”.

We got Dave up and running again, $421 later.

So I listed Ramsey for sale again on Facebook.

I didn’t drive Ramsey for a few weeks, until I needed it to haul a piece of furniture out to the new house.

I started Ramsey’s engine in late June, and realized that something was wrong with his air-conditioning.

Seriously.

So I took down the “for sale” listing and we made an appointment to have the air conditioning fixed.

The AC just needed a charge. Only $125.

After getting that taken care of and using Ramsey to haul things out to the farmhouse when we moved, Mr. Farmhouse and I decided it was time to tell Ramsey goodbye forever and start driving Dave full time.

By the time school started, I had been driving Dave again for a few weeks.

We were going to take Ramsey to CarMax and get rid of him once and for all over one weekend in late-August.

That Friday, Dave started making a funny noise on the way to school. The RPMs would fly up and I started to feel a catch when I tried to accelerated.
​
It got worse and worse.

So back to the shop with Dave.

We put the sale of Ramsey on hold...again.

I got used to driving Ramsey again. The girls got used to having the DVD player again. I got used to the heated seats when my lower back was bothering me at the beginning of the school year.

And then one morning, I pushed the button to open the back hatch and it didn't work.

Come on, Ramsey!

Sure enough, something was wrong in the power lift gate and we needed to take it in to the shop to get it fixed.

But Dave was in the shop.

So we would just live with it.

At this point, we have figured out that Dave is probably not worth the money we paid for him and the Ramsey is probably not going to get sold either.

We'll just cut our losses, use the debt snowball to pay Ramsey off soon, and drive them both until they physically die.

Last weekend, the girls had a few friends in Ramsey with us as we drove to a volleyball tournament.

Now that we live on gravel, neither vehicle is ever clean.

I pushed the button to spray windshield washer fluid on the back glass and the two girls in the third row seat started saying, "What is that? Something is dripping! I'm getting wet!"

Sure enough...somehow the windshield wiper fluid was spraying into the backseat.

I made a mental note to have Mr. Farmhouse check that little situation out after church the next day.

Several minutes later, I accidentally hit that button again as we were driving down the road.

But no water this time.

Instead, I heard the familiar click and warning sound that the back hatch was opening.

Seriously.

The windshield wiper fluid button had made the power lift gate unlatch.

I admit, I laughed.

What else do you do?

So it seems Dave and Ramsey will both be in the Newkirk family 'til death do us part.

❤️🏡❤️

Can you even believe that it's already October 22nd?

Thanksgiving and Christmas will be here before we know it!  

Let's work hard this year to feel peaceful when that time comes around!

Our week 1 challenge is to get organized!

No, I don't mean to get our whole lives organized in one week (wouldn't that be great???)!

But let's organize our thoughts to get ourselves in the right mindset to make this our best holiday season yet!

Feel free to print off my planning calendar and my Week 1 Checklist that I've created to keep myself organized this season.

I'm hoping that with the accountability of my Facebook group and the motivation of making this first holiday season at the farmhouse special, I can really get life together over the next few months and make this year one to remember!  

This week, we'll start by getting our minds wrapped around the next eight weeks of preparation and celebration time.

We'll break the work up into manageable chunks and hopefully enjoy sharing the process with each other.

We will divide our homes into eight zones and spend time deep-cleaning one area each week.

I have found that I am the most successful at sticking to eating right, growing my relationship with Jesus, our debt-reduction journey, and other things like this when I am sharing my progress (or lack of progress with someone). 

So much motivation is found when we walk alongside someone else in life.

What a blessing can be found in the strength and encouragement of other human beings.

I'm looking forward to journeying through the rest of 2017 with you, friends.

❤️🏡❤️

If you're just catching up with the Farmhouse654 Christmas Countdown, feel free to join the Facebook group HERE and print out the Planning Calendar and Week 1 Checklist HERE. ​

In another way, this year IS different.

This will be our first holiday season in the farmhouse.

Finding a new place for the holiday decorations.

Hosting dinners since we have more room in this house.

A new way of purchasing gifts for the girls this year for Christmas (more on that later).  

I always like to divide up my holiday planning and kind of challenge myself to complete certain aspects of it each week...and I thought it might be fun for my online friends to join me.

If you'd like to join me, just join my Facebook group here.

We'll be starting some weekly & daily challenges on Sunday, October 22nd!

​See you there!  ❤️🏡❤️

Does anyone else find it difficult to just stop?

Sometimes it's nice to just sit and do nothing. 

But if I'm being honest, it's easier said than done.

My first inclination isn't to come straight home after school and sit down with Mr. Farmhouse and talk about our day.

It isn't to grab my book and head to the porch to read.

It isn't to snuggle up on the couch with one of the girls and watch a movie.

Sadly, my first inclination is usually to mentally run through my "to do" list and decide what all I could accomplish in one evening.

It's to throw in a load of laundry or put dishes away or pick up the floor.

It's to sit at my computer and do lesson plans or enter grades in the grade book.

But what if my first inclination is wrong?

I've been very convicted lately, by a few books I have read, some blog posts I've seen shared, and some Christian mentors sharing with me.

I've been convicted about my priorities.

I don't want my babies to feel like I put my school work or photography business above them.

I don't want Mr. Farmhouse to think that having clean laundry or an empty sink is of more value than the time I could spend with him.

I don't want my family to go through life wondering why I put so many other tasks in front of the task of just being with them.

Now friends...let me just tell you.

This shift in thinking.

This change in words and actions.

It has taken some time.

And I have a long way to go.

But for tonight, I made supper, did about 20 minutes of lesson planning, and sat down in the living room with Mr. Farmhouse and the girls to watch Zootopia for the 587th time.

It. Was. Perfect.

Sometimes it's nice to just stop. ❤️🏡❤️

It was my dream to have a farmhouse porch swing.

The girls and I would sit out there and swing and visit about the day.

I would get up early in the morning and sit on the swing with my coffee and Bible for my daily "Jesus time".

Mr. Farmhouse and I would sit on the porch swing and watch the kids play out front, as we waved to the cars that drove by.

It was going to be wooden and "farmhouse-y" and painted a gorgeous shade of white.

It would be hanging from the ceiling of the front porch and lined with beautiful outdoor accent pillows.

​And then...Facebook read my mind and sent me an advertisement for this.

So I added it to my cart online and found out I would get free 2-day shipping.

And when I clicked into my cart to checkout, the truth was revealed.

The tan swing was not on sale.

The red swing was not on sale.

The camo swing was on sale. 

Mr. FH: What are you buying?

Me: Oh, I was looking at a swing for the porch, but I think I'll wait.

Mr. FH (looking over my shoulder): Wait...is that camo?

Me: That's one of the options, but I think I'll just wait.

Mr. FH: Is that $57???

Me: Uh...yeah, I guess it is.

Mr. FH: That's so awesome!