I can't even believe I'm saying this. It's done. The closing papers are signed. We have a new address. The farmhouse belongs to us. Yes, we have been living here for a few weeks now. Almost all of our belongings are already moved over and put away. It has felt like "ours" for a little while already. But this long process of inspections and appraisals and repairs and painting...it is over. We bought our forever home today. And soon, we will sell our home of eleven years. It didn't happen like we thought it would. In fact, the sale of our other home isn't even complete yet. In May, when this whole process started, if we had known that we wouldn't be closing on the farmhouse until August 2nd, I would have laughed and said, "No way." If you would have said that I would have to reschedule my very first teacher meeting for the 2017-2018 school year to go sign papers, I would have said, "Not happening." But here we are. In a few days, we'll build a wall to create an official fourth bedroom. We'll add a second bathroom upstairs. We'll tear out and rebuild Mattie's closet. But not yet. For now, we'll just enjoy today. The day that the farmhouse became our home. Farmhouse, sweet farmhouse. ❤️🏡❤️ Home, sweet home.
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I know, I know.
I'm not in control. God is. I can't change things by worrying about them. God's plan is better than the one I have planned for myself. Let go and let God. I get it. I say these things to other people. I say these things to myself. I use these phrases in my daily prayer time. I know. But sometimes, when things don't go the way I planned, I forget. I forget that although things don't always work out the way I had planned, they do work out the way God has foreseen from the beginning. I forget that when I spend my time fretting on the inside, my family gets the raw end of the deal on the outside. Because I'm kind of cranky. Kind of unsettled. Kind of irritable. Deep down, that Polly-Hannah that I wrote about a few days ago is still there. Polly-Hannah knows that God's got this. She knows that He can keep the world on its axis spinning at just the right speed. She knows that He already has divine appointments lined up to make specific things work exactly how they need to work out for His glory. She knows. I know. But that doesn't mean that there aren't days that I'm frustrated with the day-to-day moments in life. When my plan doesn't work out the way I had pictured it all even though I am confident that this is the plan God has for us. You see, last Friday, we were given the impression that all was good to go with our closing date. God came through and that one piece of paper that needed to make it to the lender's office made it! But Tuesday we found out that there was another piece of paper. And that paper is still sitting on someone's desk at the USDA office, just needed to be sent over to the title company. So we didn't close yesterday. And we won't close today. Hopefully we will close tomorrow. And even if we don't, I know that we will close eventually. We will sell our old house. We will buy the farmhouse. It will all work out the way God intended it to. I know this. But for now, "I like things to work out the way I had pictured in my head-Hannah" is trying to find "Polly-Hannah". I'm trying to put on that smile and enjoy the journey. To remember that someday, I will look back at this time in life and say "that was a long eight weeks, but we grew during that time...we learned to trust God and enjoy the little things in life." For now though, I will just breathe deeply and pray that our closing date comes sooner than later. ❤️🏡❤️ "I have no idea how you have stayed positive through this whole situation. You are almost six weeks past your closing date with a smile on your face."
Our loan officer texted me to let me know how surprised he is that I have kept a good attitude through the ups and downs of our home sale and purchase. Of course, he doesn't know about the late-night stressed-out texts to my dear friends, the tears that I've held back more than a few times, and the numerous conversations Mr. Farmhouse and I have had about whether or not we were making the right decision with this whole situation. However, in the end, I've never really worried that it wasn't going to work out. I just knew that eventually, the right thing would happen. I wasn't worried about being homeless. After all, we could always take our three kids and our three dogs and move in with my parents. 😳 No matter what, we would figure something out. We always do. My friends often refer to me as "Polly-Hannah" because I just don't get worked up about too much. In fact, the time that I feel the most "worked up" is when one of my friends is going through something difficult that I can't fix for them. I can usually talk them down, even when I'm really struggling to keep it together myself. My mom always used to tell us, "Happiness is a choice. Every morning when you wake up, you have a choice to have a good day or a bad day. It's up to you." And I really think she's right. It doesn't matter what happens in the day-to-day events of life...we can choose how we react. We can't control one thing that happens around us, but we can control how we choose to deal with whatever is thrown our way. This whole house sale and purchase has seemed like one tough situation after another. Documents not where they needed to be when they needed to be there. Inspections, inspections, and more inspections. Appraisals and repairs and...did I mention inspections? There were hiccups and hurdles and bumps in the road. We were supposed to close on June 16th and then June 30th and then July 5th...yet here we are. With a final closing date of July 26th. Finally. However, I have tried to keep a good attitude. To trust that God is in control. To know that no matter what...I have a choice in my reaction to our circumstances. Life isn't always rainbows and butterflies, I know. There are really, really rough situations. There are really, really hard days. But no matter what someone is going through, a positive attitude sure can do a lot for a one's outlook on life. So today... I choose happiness. I choose patience. I choose joy. I choose Polly-Hannah. ❤️ "Have patience, have patience,
Don't be in such a hurry. When you get impatient, you only start to worry. Remember, remember that God is patient, too. And think of all the times when others have to wait for you." These aren't the exact lyrics that I remember from the childhood video we used to watch about Herbert the Snail. However, they do evoke the same feeling inside of me as the somewhat inaccurate words that I sing to my three girls. We were originally supposed to close on the farmhouse on June 16th. Then June 30th. Then July 5th. Now, it's looking like it won't even happen by then. Something is going on with the appraisal of our current house and I am waiting for a phone call, as we speak, to see what needs to happen to make that appraisal come through sooner than later. It has something to do with the hailstorm and our insurance claim. As I sit here just waiting for that phone to ring, I have a hard time with patience. I know that in the whole scheme of things, a three to four week delay on closing on a house isn't a huge deal. In all of life, three to four weeks is gone in the blink of an eye. However, it makes me start to wonder how things will all work out. I start to worry, although I know I shouldn't. I know that God is in control of this situation and that He's got this. We have a roof over our heads, three beautiful, healthy daughters, a wonderful marriage, and more than we could ever need. We are loved. We are blessed. We are (trying to be) patient. Sometimes I struggle. I struggle to keep it all together. Running a household. Shaping the minds of third graders. Keeping up with a photography business. Serving at church and in the community. I forget things. I lose things. I fly off the deep end in conversation with my husband and children. There are days that I struggle. I struggle to feel like what I'm doing is good enough. I have said "yes" to so many activities and projects and clients that sometimes I haven't been able to say "yes" to my kids. I have had so many commitments in one week that sometimes I have not been able to give the 110% to each activity. I have made such a long (and often unrealistic) "to do list" for myself on a given day that sometimes I get overwhelmed and am hardly able to complete even one task on there. And then, in the midst of what feels like chaos. In the midst of just trying to get one more thing done before bed. In the midst of the daily struggle. I get a glimpse of what life could be. I find joy in the simplicity of a ride down the lane to the barn with my three girls. We stop and admire the new babies born this spring. We photograph the mamas. We admire the sunset. We play with the barn kitties. And for a few moments, I find contentment in doing nothing. I realize that my most important work is for these three little girls...for their daddy, who works so hard for us. It's time for a reset. Time to shift my priorities. It's time to realize that moments like these...they are good enough. Even if I sometimes say "I'm sorry...I'm not able to work on that today" or "You'll have to find someone else this time"...I am still good enough. This simple life is good enough. And sometimes, good enough can be wonderful. |
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